Winner, Winner Chicken Dinner

When we decided to make the move from Australia to Canada I thought I would start a blog for my ramblings the only problem was I had NFI how so after several intense google sessions and using a WordPress template Maple Bacon Please was born.

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Spring Break

This week it is Spring Break so the 8-year-old has a week off school.  As we don’t have Spring Break in Australia when Spring Break comes to mind I think of American College students partying on a beach with hardly any clothes on, copious amounts of alcohol, sex and vomit.  Disappointingly this is not how Spring Break is going down at our place this week.

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Weekend in Muskoka – Ice Fishing and Arrowhead Skating Trail

Move over Bear Grylls because a new outdoor adventurer is on the scene and that would be Moi!

The Canadian celebrated a milestone birthday over the weekend and so on Friday,  school and work got ditched and we took off for a long weekend away in Muskoka.

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The festival of I’m sorry!

This week I paid a visit to the Dentist, I have actually paid a visit to the dentist once a week for the last 3 weeks having various things done and this week she declared I am their favourite patient.

I bet I am, I thought as the cash dislodged itself from my wallet and into hers. What’s not to love about me financing that fancy car and the kids private school fee’s but then I felt like a bitch for thinking bad thoughts. I was going to get struck by lightning the minute I walked out of her office. All of the staff at the office are super friendly and nice and have made me feel more relaxed with each visit. I am a big wimp when it comes to the Dentist and because of this had put off going for a ridiculous amount of time. On my first visit, I apologised for the state of my teeth and so began the festival of I’m sorry!

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Under Arrest

When I walked the 8-year-old to school yesterday we turned the corner into the school yard and I saw 2 police officers, instantly thoughts started racing through my head that they had come to arrest me!

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Progressive Canada

Walking the 8-year-old home from school yesterday we found a bag of Marijuana on the footpath.  We took it home put a Cyprus Hill CD on (Hits from the bong)  and made cookies with it for him to take into his teachers at school for morning tea.

marijuana

 

ONLY KIDDING

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Weekend in Ottawa Part 2

On our road trip to Ottawa last weekend I had two things I really wanted to do

Skate on the Rideau Canal – The world’s longest skating rink (see the previous blog post)

and

Take a selfie with Justin Trudeau

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Brass Monkeys!

I woke up this morning to our first extreme weather warning issued by Environment Canada.   My phone told me it was -18, the dude reporting the weather on TV told me with wind chill it was, in fact, colder.   It was my first real Brass Monkey’s Day.

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How I became a bearded hipster!

It has been a yawn,  yawn couple of days.   I have been house bound with the 8-year-old who I suspect picked up something at the world’s skankiest Doctors surgery last week (refer to previous blog post).

Trapped at home and with time on my hands,  I decided it was time to take care of the lady garden growing on my chin and re-open  “Danielle’s house of hair removal”.

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The town of Barrie, far from a Barry Crocker!

In Australian Rhyming Slang, a Barry Crocker is known as a shocker and the town of Barrie in Ontario is far from a shocker.

A couple of weekends ago we found ourselves driving North of Toronto in search of snow.  With very little research we looked at the map and decided we would head to a town called Barrie.  We had no idea exactly how long it would take us or what would greet us in Barrie but packed overnight bags just in case.

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