It’s been a busy couple of weeks and I have been a little slack with the blog. I’m pretty sure I have been slowly coming out of a Lobster Roll induced post-holiday, coma. Who would have thought that you can actually get sick of eating lobster?
Sitting in my drafts folder I am midway through doing a post about our Martha’s Vineyard trip, in its current state, it is the size of a small novel and not wanting to put people in the land of zzz’s I will end up breaking it down and into smaller multiple posts.
What’s been happening and keeping me OFF the streets?
Actually, that’s just it!
Most of the action has been happening ON the streets of Toronto.
This week I was in for a real treat! I often stumble across interesting things on my walk to and from school with the 9-year-old and this week was action-packed.
We watched the Naked News being filmed.
Nothing says serious journalism like a news story being delivered by a topless presenter.
Well, correction, I watched the Naked News being filmed, the 9-year-old was horrified and didn’t know where to look, I thought he was going to break into a jog he couldn’t get away fast enough.
The good wife I am, I sent a text to The Canadian at work with some pictures to share the moment. He was most grateful.
How is this possible? Turns out Ontario has a Topfree Equality law, that means because it’s ok for men and boys to walk around without a shirt by law it’s equally ok for the ladies to get the girls out. Due to the already high level of vomit, I encounter in the streets of Toronto, I will save the general public and not be participating in walking the streets Topfree.
On another afternoon, I walked out of the entrance of our apartment and onto the street and bang smack into none other than Amy Roloff.
Who is Amy Roloff I hear you ask?
Well, Amy is the mum in a TLC tv show called Little People Big World. The show has followed Amy and her husband Matt who both have dwarfism and their 4 kids, 3 of whom are average height and 1 who also has dwarfism over the last 10 years. They live on the most beautiful farm in Oregon and at first, the show started showing the challenges they face but then over the years focused on holidays and adventures they would go on, the kids growing up and the renovation of the farm and house. Like most long-running reality shows that are warts and all, sadly I watched Amy and Matt’s marriage end and become splitsville.
I’m not sure if it’s being horizontally challenged myself at 5 foot nothing that piqued my interest in the show or just my love of crap reality TV shows that got me into it but the 9-year-old and I had a mutual love of the show.
The Canadian hated it! So much so that one year for fathers day I purchased Amy’s cookbook, Short and Simple for him.
Just like the time I saw the rudie nudie lady that cooks in her undies in the apartment block next to ours out in the street in real life when I first saw Amy I was about to say hello like I had run into someone I knew. I then placed her as Amy from the show and actually got a little bit star-struck. I know right! Star Struck over someone on a reality TV show!! I’m losing it!!! I wanted to race back upstairs and get The Canadian’s cookbook and ask her to sign it but I had to hurry to school pick up. Only one thing to do …… follow her for as long as I could before I had to head in the direction of the school. I got a little excited when I saw her walking towards the ice cream shop that has THE most ridiculous lines out the front (even in winter). If she was lining up she would be trapped in that line for at least 30 minutes. I raced to get the 9-year-old and broke the news, not one to miss an opportunity for ice cream he then suggested that perhaps we should line up and sold it to me with “we might see her”
What goes with minor television celebrities and boobs? Well, booze of course!!!!
The streets of Toronto are not paved with gold but it seems they are paved with marijuana and alcohol.
Last week we had promo girls on the corner of the street thrust cans of some kind of Smirnoff Vodka flavoured cooler drinks at us. They tasted so vile and not dissimilar to cough medicine.
This week it was the birds from Budweiser.
I just couldn’t bring myself to take one. Unlike the Smirnoff that was handed out unopened the ladies and gents from Budweiser opened every can before handing it out. All I could hear was the voice of June Daly Watkins going through my head saying “ladies don’t eat or drink walking down the street”
I have never followed either rule but the thought of walking down the street in the middle of the day in the middle of the week on my own and drinking a can of beer just took it to a new level of dead shit. But hey! if that’s your thing, of course, no judgement!
I’m looking forward to seeing what the streets deliver me today!