This week I realised a Peeping Tom has moved into our apartment and the creepy son of a bitch is moi …. I have turned into the ** Mrs Mangel of Toronto and it kind of happened without me really even trying.
When we moved from Australia to Canada part of our move included wanting to make some lifestyle changes one of which was moving from a house in the suburbs and into an apartment in the city. Why not? with only the 9-year-old and 500% no more on the way, we decided we would give it a go and so have moved into a 2 bedroom apartment right in the middle of the action of downtown Toronto.
We have fallen in love with apartment living and all of the things right on our doorstep, well most things, perhaps not the doggy diarrhoea and night on the town vomit on the doorstep, especially first thing in the morning but so far so good and I have yet to stand in any of it.
The 9-year-old has developed an unhealthy fascination with the vomit and likes to try and work out what the people have been eating and then report his findings back to me so I try and move him on quickly so I don’t throw up on the throw-up.
I can’t really lecture him about unhealthy fascinations because I have developed my own and it involves a sofa and it’s not mine.
You see our apartment is on a corner and has some fantastic views in a few different directions
oh and this at night,
But the views really shine at sunset when on a clear day we get a light show with this,
and even this,
In the mornings sunrise can be spectacular like this,
and in winter with the snow, well it’s just so pretty with this,
But right in between these views we also get this,
Two apartment blocks bang, smack in between some of our views and right up in my face.
It’s not like the apartments just appeared out of thin air after we moved in but for some reason, I didn’t really notice them when we inspected the apartment. One week after moving in I started to not only make note of the apartments but the various inhabitants especially at night when they are all lite up and with the blinds open.
First, I noticed the lady that cooks dinner in her underpants without a care in the world for Occupational Health or Safety.
All I could think was geez, I hope she isn’t deep frying.
It turned out it wasn’t a one off, she only ever cooks in her underpants. I have yet to see her cook or eat in anything other than a butt thong …… The Canadian loves it!
In our home, she has become known as underpants lady!
The other thing I noticed is the massive german shepherd living with her and her partner in the teeny tiniest apartment. The rule in Toronto seems to be the smaller the apartment the bigger the dog. One morning when the 9-year-old and I were down on the street we saw underpants lady walking the dog, we almost didn’t recognise her wearing clothes but the dog was the giveaway. It was weird, I felt like she was a long-lost friend despite the fact she is a complete stranger.
Perhaps I should have said, hello and maybe mention to her that her partner really should shut the bathroom door when he takes a slash and nothing bugs me more than how he doesn’t put the toilet seat down and ask her how she feels about it? I wanted to ask her if she has ever given her who-ha 3rd-degree burns when making bacon and eggs?
In the same building a few floors up is computer guy. Computer guy works from home and sits on his computer A LOT. His apartment stood out to me again because I admired his interior style. His lamps, sofa, plant placement even his throw it all appealed. Computer guy has a housekeeper that comes three times a week. She comes in for the full day, wears a uniform, cleans, does some ironing and maybe some cooking (pure speculation re the cooking because I can’t see the kitchen in his apartment)
Times are however changing at computer guy’s and he has a couple of new additions in his life a new sofa and a new lady friend.
I hate the new sofa, it looks horrible, it’s dark and it just doesn’t work in the apartment. If only he had asked my advice ….. oh that’s right I don’t know him.
Last weekend his new lady friend slept over I think for the first time. They sat around on the new sofa in matching white terry robes drinking coffee all morning. It was so romantic, just the 5 of us … them, the Canadian, the 9-year-old and me!
I wonder how she feels about the new sofa?
** Mrs Mangel is a TV character from the Australian Soap Neighbours, she was basically a nosy, interferring old bag.
Is cooking in underwear a thing?
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