Peeping Tom

This week I realised a Peeping Tom has moved into our apartment and the creepy son of a bitch is moi ….   I have turned into the  ** Mrs Mangel of Toronto and it kind of happened without me really even trying.

When we moved from Australia to Canada part of our move included wanting to make some lifestyle changes one of which was moving from a house in the suburbs and into an apartment in the city.   Why not?  with only the 9-year-old and 500%  no more on the way, we decided we would give it a go and so have moved into a 2 bedroom apartment right in the middle of the action of downtown Toronto.

We have fallen in love with apartment living and all of the things right on our doorstep, well most things, perhaps not the doggy diarrhoea and night on the town vomit on the doorstep, especially first thing in the morning but so far so good and I have yet to stand in any of it.

The 9-year-old has developed an unhealthy fascination with the vomit and likes to try and work out what the people have been eating and then report his findings back to me so I try and move him on quickly so I don’t throw up on the throw-up.

I can’t really lecture him about unhealthy fascinations because I have developed my own and it involves a sofa and it’s not mine.

You see our apartment is on a corner and has some fantastic views in a few different directions

Like this

apartment views toronto 4

and this

apartment views toronto 3

 

oh and this at night,

apartment views toronto night

 

But the views really shine at sunset when on a clear day we get a light show with this,

apartment views sunset toronto

and this,

apartment living toronto views

and even this,

apartment views toronto sunset

 

In the mornings sunrise can be spectacular like this,

apartment views sunrise toronto

and in winter with the snow, well it’s just so pretty with this,

Toronto snow day

But right in between these views we also get this,

toronto apartment next door

toronto apartment next door 1

 

Two apartment blocks bang, smack in between some of our views and right up in my face.

It’s not like the apartments just appeared out of thin air after we moved in but for some reason, I didn’t really notice them when we inspected the apartment.   One week after moving in I started to not only make note of the apartments but the various inhabitants especially at night when they are all lite up and with the blinds open.

First, I noticed the lady that cooks dinner in her underpants without a care in the world for Occupational Health or Safety.

All I could think was geez, I hope she isn’t deep frying.

It turned out it wasn’t a one off,  she only ever cooks in her underpants.   I have yet to see her cook or eat in anything other than a butt thong ……   The Canadian loves it!

In our home,  she has become known as underpants lady!

The other thing I noticed is the massive german shepherd living with her and her partner in the teeny tiniest apartment.  The rule in Toronto seems to be the smaller the apartment the bigger the dog.   One morning when The 9-year-old and I were down on the street we saw underpants lady walking the dog, we almost didn’t recognise her wearing clothes but the dog was the giveaway.   It was weird, I felt like she was a long-lost friend despite the fact she is a complete stranger.

Perhaps I should have said,  hello and maybe mention to her that her partner really should shut the bathroom door when he takes a slash and nothing bugs me more than how he doesn’t put the toilet seat down and ask her how she feels about it?   I wanted to ask her if she has ever given her who-ha 3rd-degree burns when making bacon and eggs?

In the same building a few floors up is computer guy.  Computer guy works from home and sits on his computer A LOT.  His apartment stood out to me again because I admired his interior style.  His lamps, sofa, plant placement even his throw it all appealed.    Computer guy has a housekeeper that comes three times a week.  She comes in for the full day, wears a uniform, cleans, does some ironing and maybe some cooking (pure speculation re the cooking because I can’t see the kitchen in his apartment)

Times are however changing at computer guy’s and he has a couple of new additions in his life a new sofa and a new lady friend.

I hate the new sofa, it looks horrible, it’s dark and it just doesn’t work in the apartment.  If only he had asked my advice ….. oh that’s right I don’t know him.

Last weekend his new lady friend slept over I think for the first time.   They sat around on the new sofa in matching white terry robes drinking coffee all morning.  It was so romantic, just the 5 of us … them, the Canadian, the 9-year-old and me!

I wonder how she feels about the new sofa?

 

** Mrs Mangel is a TV character from the Australian Soap Neighbours, she was basically a nosy, interferring old bag.

Is cooking in underwear a thing?

Danielle

X

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16 thoughts on “Peeping Tom

  1. We had a neighbour (a male) who cooked, ironed and did pretty much everything else naked. And there are other naked neighbours in the building across from us.
    This was never the case in Sydney.

  2. Really enjoying your blog. You crack me up every time! Although I live in a very quiet and private neighbourhood on the Gold Coast, I have often entertained the idea of city apartment living and I reckon I would give Mrs Mangel a run for her money too!

    1. Hi Patsy,

      Thanks for reading the blog.

      It’s like a car accident, I just can’t look away!

      In saying that I have started to close our blinds more often. If I can see them, they can see me …. oh the horror!

  3. Love your writing as always. I thought this was going to be about a disgraceful man in the apartment across from you! Guess not 😉 This reminds me of Friends (the TV show).

  4. We were rolling over the floor because of your post!

    You do realize that we want to follow all the adventures that the four of you have with computer guy, right?

  5. Funny!! I especially liked the part about recognizing Underpants Lady while walking her dog. Awkward moment!!

    You’ve just demonstrated what I’ve long suspected about all these condo units that have sprouted up like mushrooms all over downtown. There can’t possibly be any privacy … but who wants to have their drapes/blinds closed all the time? It appears that the end result is people who don’t care if they are being watched.

    It’s all innocent fun … until the binoculars come out 😉

  6. This is so funny! The North American version of Mrs Mangel is Mrs. Gladys Kravitz. We often refer to her if we find ourselves secretly looking out the window to check out what the neighbours are doing!

    I suppose this is the downfall of living in a glass tower. Life is open for all to see!

  7. Thanks so much for another laugh out loud post. Apartment living is a very strange thing. It is easy to be a stalker in such an environment, believe me, I know!

  8. Haha! I love it!! We also moved from the suburbs to the city with our kids when we moved to Barcelona. And it is an eye opener! Alas, now we are back in the suburbs now that we live in the Netherlands. We miss the city but school is a 30 min drive from Amsterdam so the suburbs it will be.

  9. Pingback: Back to the drawing board – Maple Bacon Please!

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